The Unbearable Fatness of Being . . . Me

Monday, July 17, 2006

Motivation Fickleness

You never know what will motivate you . . . or, for that matter, what will stop your motivation dead in its tracks. As to what causes this surge in motivation (OH! a surge! grab it before it gets away . . .), not really sure. I do know it's a fickle thing for me. The slightest negative blip on my emotional screen and I lose all focus about eating well, for nourishment only (not that that can't be pleasurable as well), but certainly not to use food as a drug. Which, more and more, I realize I do. I absolutely have to explore that here. On the other hand, the surges in motivation can also be equally fickle, and equally dangerous if unharnessed. I'll read something that completely inspires me, or try on something that almost fits, and, instead of getting depressed and disgusted, I'll think, "I can do this! Stay focused, treat myself well, and I will get there!" And then it passes. The depression and disgust come on, but quick, and, till the next surge, I'm doomed. I have a feeling that while motivation may be important, it's not the key to changing the things I want to. Commitment is. I am determined to explore this, to find out why I've been a makeover dilettante, to change.

NOTE: Recovered Post!8.20.06


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